


Collections of a Troublemaker

by Gallons_of_the_Stuff



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drabbles, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Ridiculous, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-11 01:18:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4415528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gallons_of_the_Stuff/pseuds/Gallons_of_the_Stuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One-shots and drabbles written for Hogwarts Houses Challenges using prompts from the challenges Drabble Club and The Quidditch Pitch. Current: Molly's cousins decide to take her fiance out for the night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Disaster

**Author's Note:**

> Hogwarts Houses Challenges: The Kitchen Challenge
> 
> Prompt (The Quidditch Pitch): spell - aguamenti
> 
> Prompt (Drabble Club): sentence - Falling in love was the easiest thing she had ever done.
> 
> Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, I don't own jack. Enjoy!

 

To Molly Weasley being named after her grandmother was something of a curse. She had the temper – that she had gotten in  _spades_  – as well as all those protective, motherly instincts, and, of course, the red hair. But what she did not have, much to her chagrin and the amusement of several of her family members, was her grandmother's mastery of all things domestic.

Certainly, she could perform any number of household charms, but they were, at best, competent, while at worst… well, to call those particular times "disastrous" would not be overstating things.

At thirteen, after spending a happy weekend with her namesake, Molly ventured into the kitchen for her first unsupervised baking session. She gathered all the ingredients to make simple breakfast biscuits – flour, salt, milk, a bit of shortening and baking powder – and set to work. The initial process went well – mixing was easy, as was rolling out her dough and cutting it into neat circles to place on the pan. It was when she put the tray into the oven and tried the quick-heating spell she had seen her grandmother use to cook  _her_  biscuits that things went south.

The kitchen was saved only due to the intervention of her mother – who, upon smelling the smoke, had dashed down the stairs and cast  _Aguamenti_  on the flames. The oven though – that was thoroughly ruined, not to mention the biscuits. Molly's attempted baking was not appreciated and she was banned from any further experimentation without the direct supervision of someone who knew what they were doing.

Similar incidents were not uncommon, even under the watchful eye of a parent and/or grandparent. When trying to wash a dirty set of Quidditch robes, she managed to turn the entire load a vivid red – the sight of which caused her mother to faint. Working in the garden, she pulled up weeds and useful plants alike, unable to tell them apart. Three other attempts to cook ended in fire, burnt casserole, and a gelatinous goo that stank so badly it took a week to get the smell out – no one could figure out where she had gone wrong with that last one and she had finally thrown in the towel.

It seemed that Molly Weasley the Second would never live up to the household magic of her grandmother. She had, in fact, resigned herself to forever failing at those skills – a running joke developed among her family that the only way Molly would have a wardrobe not dyed random colors, good home-cooking, and a garden that did not resemble a jungle or a dirt patch was if she married a man who was some sort of domestic god.

Six years after leaving home, she met her man – a Muggle named Sebastian – when he moved into the flat across the hall from her. A single whiff of his chicken cacciatore was enough to assure her of his cooking skills – three months of dating was enough to convince her to move in with him, and at six months, it was all she could do not to squeeze the life out of him when he proposed, she was so happy. Falling in love was the easiest thing she had ever done.

At the wedding, she tolerated the jokes her cousins made about her lack of 'womanly' skill with a smile on her face – what woman needed to be a good cook when her husband was a professional chef?


	2. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Agonizing over how to tell her Muggle boyfriend she's a witch, Molly and Sebastian's day is interrupted by an unexpected visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hogwarts Houses Challenges - Quidditch Pitch and Drabble Club.
> 
> Prompt (Quidditch Pitch): word - exsanguination.
> 
> Prompt (Drabble Club): creature - vampire
> 
> Words: approximately 1,220
> 
> Disclaimer: For the last time, I don't own Harry Potter! *pouts* I don't even own Akeldama - that character belongs to my sister (and isn't a vampire originally - just a ten thousand year old immortal bonded to a phoenix. Actually, she's much more awesome as my sister writes her).
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the fic!

" _Exsanguination_ ," Sebastian said, his voice incredulous. "Honestly, what kind of word is  _exsanguination_? There's no way to work that into a normal conversation. I mean, how would you even use that in a sentence?"

Molly, sitting on the other end of the couch, looked up from her reading to frown at her boyfriend. "The ultimate cause of death in a vampire attack is exsanguination," she said, inexactly quoting a line from one of her old Defense against the Dark Arts textbooks.

Sebastian blinked at her, muttering "Huh," before he wrote something on his tablet computer and flicked the screen to some effect.

Setting aside her book – a gift from her father – she scooted across the couch to try to get a look at what the Muggle was doing, settling into his side as he shifted to accommodate her. "What brought that on?" Her eyes skimmed the computerized page, but she couldn't make heads or tails of the graphics, still too unfamiliar with Muggle technology to understand it.

"Game with Dama," he said. "She keeps winning using weird words." He shook his head. "I know where she gets them, but it's like she's cheating." Looking back at her, he narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Where did you learn it? I know you don't read fantasy novels, so how'd you come up with a sentence like that?"

Molly shifted, uncomfortable – Sebastian didn't know she was a witch, not yet. She would readily admit that she loved the Muggle and she knew he loved her, but she wasn't sure she  _could_  tell him. Almost six months of dating, three of living together, and she  _wanted_  to tell him. She really, really did. But she wasn't sure yet, how he would take it.

"I read it in a book for school," she eventually answered – the truth was always better than a lie, even if it wasn't the whole truth.

"What book?  _Dracula_?" Sebastian asked, but the way he snorted a laugh and turned his eyes back to his tablet told her it was more of a rhetorical question. So she hummed, a noncommittal sound, and let her gaze settle, unfocused, on the screen as her thoughts wandered.

How did one go about telling their Muggle boyfriend about the magical world? About the heritage that came with flying on broomsticks, casting spells, using magic wands and brewing potions in cauldrons? She wasn't sure anyone in her family had even dated a Muggle, aside from her – certainly, none that she could think of had married one. Muggleborns and half-bloods aplenty, but not one full-blooded Muggle. Maybe she could look for a book on the subject the next time she was in Diagon Alley…

Without her really noticing, Sebastian had finished his game (or given up on it) and set aside the tablet, turning his attention to her.

"Molly," he said; the smile on his face said it wasn't the first time he had said her name. "Earth to Molly, come in Molly. Where did you go?"

Though the words were teasing and the look in his eye was merely curious, Molly felt her face flush almost guiltily. "Nowhere," she replied. Another uncomfortable shift, then she flashed a smile at him, opening her mouth to suggest… something, anything, to get them out of the apartment and take her mind off trying to tell him she was a witch. Only, she didn't have to, because just as her brain stalled on ideas, someone knocked on the door.  _Banged_  actually might have been a more appropriate word choice.

"Who could that be?" she said, her frown deepening when her boyfriend groaned.

"I think I know," Sebastian answered, sounding resigned and… sheepish? Molly put down her hand on the cushion to keep from falling over as he stood and went to the door. Curious, she peered down around the dividing wall to see who it was.

She barely heard the Muggle greet the woman with blood red hair – Molly was too busy taking in the pale skin and the flash of fangs in the vampire's mouth to notice the familiarity of her boyfriend's tone.

Moving faster than she ever had, the witch snatched her wand from her sleeve and pointed it at the creature, casting a knock-back jinx in one breath and a binding spell with the next. The vampire flew out into the hallway, somehow landing on its feet and dodging the ropes; Molly was already scrambling to put herself between Sebastian and the petite, youthful-looking woman, another spell on the tip of her tongue.

One she never wound up speaking – instead of attacking, the other redhead took one look at her, straightened out of her defensive crouch, and turned her eyes to the Muggle behind the protective witch.

"Bas, I can't believe you didn't tell me you were dating a witch!"

Molly gaped, confusion warring with surprise and the sudden sick realization that she had just used magic in front of Sebastian. Surprise won out over the other emotions when her boyfriend spoke up.

"I was waiting for her to actually tell me before I told you." The witch whipped around to stare at Sebastian, but he was still looking at the vampire in the hallway. "Couldn't you have just called before coming by, Dama? I think you almost gave Molly a heart attack."

Said witch made a strangled noise, unable to figure out which part of that reply was more shocking: the fact that her boyfriend's best friend was apparently a vampire (which sort of explained why she had yet to meet the woman – the summer days made visiting hours kind of short for their kind), or that he had  _known_  she was a witch.

His gaze shifted to her, brow furrowed. "Are you okay?"

They both ignored the vampire's indignant, "Hey, I'm the one that got hit with a  _Flipendo_!"

"How… how long have you known?" She had been agonizing over hiding magic from him for months!

"Um." Sebastian looked away, raising a hand to scrub his fingers through his hair and his eyes getting that squinty look like he always did when he was thinking. "Since you moved in? Your wand fell out of your pocket when you fell asleep on the couch the first day – I already suspected, but that cinched it."

That didn't make sense – she'd always been careful to hide any sign that she was a witch. How could he have suspected? And he was a Muggle – he should have thought her wand was just a stick! "But… how did you even…"

"Know what it was? I grew up with a half-vampire." A crooked smile accompanied his gesture toward their unexpected visitor. "I may be a Muggle, but I've known about the magical world since I was a kid."

"Oh." That… actually sort of made sense, at the same time it spawned about six dozen other questions.

Sebastian grinned again, not giving her time to ask any of them before he turned her around and introduced her to the (half?) vampire. "Molly, this is Akeldama, who's practically my second mom. Dama, this is Molly Weasley, my girlfriend."

Somehow, the witch summoned a smile, despite the fact that she was still reeling. Akeldama (she would have to look that name up – vampires liked names that reflected what they were) didn't return it, gaping at Molly instead.

"You're dating a  _Weasley_?"


	3. Bachelor Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Molly's cousins decide to take her fiance out for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hogwarts Houses Challenges - Camp Hogwarts Challenge, The Quidditch Pitch, and The Drabble Club.
> 
> Prompt (Camp Hogwarts Challenge): Paintball - write about an ambush.
> 
> Prompt (The Quidditch Pitch): Spell - stupefy.
> 
> Prompt (The Drabble Club): Dialogue - "No, please, please don't kill me. Please, I'll do anything."
> 
> Words: approximately 1,005
> 
> More of the OC, Sebastian, and Next-Gen Weasleys (and Potters)! Let's just get straight to it, shall we?
> 
> Disclaimer: Alas, I own nothing.

They came at them from behind, grabbing Molly first – she yelled as her hand was ripped from his. Sebastian tried to whip around, to see their faces, but they yanked a bag down over his face and all he saw was blackness, the cloth smelling of burlap. One of them – maybe more than one – wrapped their fingers around his wrists, trying to pin them behind his back and get a rope around them. Whoever it was got an elbow to the face as the young man fought against the hold.

"Shit!" cursed his attacker in a distorted voice, and Sebastian pictured hands holding a broken nose – despite the muffling, it was definitely a male voice.

He ducked out of the other man's grasp, reaching up to remove the hood. Before his fingers could close on the fabric, another voice hissed, "Move!  _Stupefy_!" and the Muggle dropped, unconscious before he hit the ground.

* * *

The first thought Sebastian had when he woke up – a sudden, rather than a gradual thing – was that he'd been kidnapped by fucking  _wizards_. Of all people!

The second thought was a catalogue of facts – one, he was tied to a chair. Two, whichever of his captors had tied him up did a shit job of it. Three, the hood was gone.

"Hey. Hey! I think he's awake."

And number four: he was pretty sure these were Molly's cousins. Which, since they weren't the kind of family to subscribe to the bullshit about 'blood purity', meant that this was probably some misguided attempt at a hazing ritual leading up to a bachelor party. The kidnapping had to be someone's idea of a joke to mess with him and Molly.

There was a click followed by the hum of electricity and Sebastian couldn't help the slight flinch as a floodlight (he thought – he couldn't exactly  _see_ ) turned on right in front of him. Odd of wizards not to use magic, but maybe one of them was a fan of old crime movies and liked the effect. He hadn't met many of the Weasleys yet – just Molly's parents, her sister Lucy, and her cousin Victoire, who had been with her husband Teddy.

Whichever these three (he thought there might have been four, maybe five, but he'd only heard three voices), they obviously wanted to mess with him.  _Well_ , he thought, glad the position of his head hid his there-and-gone smile,  _let's see how they like being messed with_.

Groaning (which he didn't need to fake – he was definitely going to have bruises in the morning), Sebastian turned his face further from the light, putting on a show.

"Wha–?" he murmured, turning his head back the other way with his eyes barely open to try to get a look at who was beyond the light. Unfortunately, he couldn't make out more than shadowy figures – five, like he thought, but if he could just get a glimpse of the hair… Akeldama had told him the Weasleys were famous for their red hair. Then again, a lot of Molly's male cousins didn't have that infamous red color, did they?

Eh, it didn't matter – most likely, these were relatives of his fiancé (what other wizards would want to kidnap him?), which meant they weren't going to  _actually_  hurt him. That didn't stop him from working loose the binds on his wrists as he played up his confusion.

"Where am I? What – what's going on?" He pretended to tug against the ropes, jerking his head up and peering beyond the light. Now to inject a little fear… "Where's Molly? What did you do to her?" Dama liked to complain he should have been an actor – though that was more a jab at his attraction to dramatic acts for the hell of it than a commentary on his skill.

"I think you should be a little more concerned about yourself," one of the figures – to the left, further from the light and even harder to see – spoke up. To Sebastian's ear, it was obvious that he was trying to sound intimidating, but the Muggle could hear the hint of laughter the wizard tried to hold back.

"What?" Hopefully, he was better at covering his amusement and the one-word question came out full of confusion and fear. "No… No, please, please don't kill me. Please, I'll do anything." A hint of tears – not hard after staring into that flood-light – and an edge of a sob…

"Whoa, wait, no," another of the young men blurted, stepping toward the chair. "We're not gonna kill you."

"Al! Shut up!" hissed the other speaker – was that the same voice that had cursed when Sebastian elbowed him in the face? Maybe. Didn't particularly matter though – 'Al' was almost close enough. "You're ruining it!" Was it just him, or did that exclamation sound a little whiney?

"No, James, I think–" whatever Al thought, he didn't get to finish. As soon as he was in range, Sebastian surged up from the chair, grabbed the other man, and wrapped the rope around his neck. He held him like a human shield, keeping his head down behind the wizard's – easy enough, since they were practically the same height.

"You guys are  _terrible_  at kidnapping," he said, his voice cheery and loud in the stunned silence from Molly's cousins. "Honestly. And even  _worse_  at tying a guy up." He gave them just a half second longer to process what had happened before letting Al go and dropping the rope, holding his hands up in surrender just in case his actions and comments had managed to piss one of them off. "Good thing this is a joke."

The silence lasted a couple seconds longer before the tallest figure laughed, reaching out to shut off the flood light and stepping toward him – nope, definitely not a redhead, though his grin reminded Sebastian of Molly at her most mischievous. "I think you're going to fit in just fine with this family," the dark-skinned wizard said.

The Muggle grinned back. "That's always a bonus."


End file.
